It's been forever.
The good: John and I are strong. I love having someone to talk to, confide in, laugh with, cry on, someone who is my equal. My partner in everything I do. The kids and I moved in with him late in June, after school let out. There has definitely been adjusting to do, but I wouldn't change it for the world. Seeing him daily brings me so much joy.
The kids went to summer camp. Jaime to a week of cub scout camp, which he enjoyed immensely. Eloise to three weeks of swim day camp. She is an amazing swimmer! Ani and Lex went to their Auntie Karyn's house for the whole summer and spent 6 weeks in Girl Scout camp. John and I went up almost every weekend and spent time seeing the girls, swimming in the lake, and laying out on the dock.
The bad: The summer was long, and filled with bumps in the road. Jaime's anxiety was at an all time high with all of the bugs outside and the new environment. The lack of a very structured environment was tough on all of us.
The ugly: Jaime seemed to react poorly to the medication he was on for his anxiety. He had aggressive outbursts that anyone nearby could be a target of, then completely shut down and went mute for about an hour after each one. The outbursts decreased and have nearly stopped after stopping the medication for anxiety. Of course, his anxiety is very high again, but I'll take that over being hit and bitten. He's in an intensive program now, where he is learning more coping skills, and is being closely monitored so that he can get the best treatment possible and be able to successfully function in everyday tasks.
As for me in my journey, I'm good. I have a good balance of meds that leave me feeling like myself, able to function, and not get so low that I can't think of anything but sleep. I still feel emotions, strong emotions. Hurt still comes through. Ignorant words cut deeply. Deep pain at what my child is going through, not being able to magically make it all better.
This too shall pass, and I need to remember that others words and actions are not about me, it is about them, and their insecurities.
