Reviving my soul

“Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life”
Berthold Auerbach

I have been singing.  ALL.DAY. 

Once upon a time I used to love singing.  I was in the chorus, the madrigals, the women's chorus, and I was a part of the All Regional and All New England choirs.  I even went to college as a voice major on my first try at college.  I let that part of me die for a long time, though not intentionally.  I tried singing in the church choir for a bit, but the rehearsals were at 8 on Sunday mornings.  I didn't have anyone to watch my kids.  My ex-husband wouldn't do it, and I couldn't bring them with me, so I let it go.

Now, as part of my recovery, I'm bringing the music back into my life.  On Monday evening, I'm auditioning for a community choir.  Guess what my audition piece is?  That's right!  Caro Mio Ben.  It's the gold standard in the vocal world.  Anyone who takes vocal lessons learns it, and sings it for a recital, and audition, you name it, it's been done.  My voice is tired, but it feels SO good to be singing again.  Singing brings me to a place that nothing else can.  It is something that I excel at.  It is an escape for me.  I can sing words in Italian, French, German, languages that I only speak in song.  Languages that are far more expressive than English.  For the three minutes it takes me to sing the piece, I'm someone else completely.  I could be a scorned lover, a young woman who is consumed by love, a woman singing her last words as she dies a tragic death. 

This part of me that has been dead for so long is being revived, and I feel amazing because of it.  I will never again let something that is so important to my soul die.