Relationships

There are days when I feel like I’ve lost a friend.  Someone who I was once extremely close to is no longer in my inner circle.  We still talk, communicate, and work together to coordinate things, but the closeness has died.  Some days I’m beyond happy with all of the change that’s happening in my life, other days I feel the bitter sting of sadness when I look and see what I’ve lost.  What I’ve gained is amazing, incredible, and wonderful, but what I’ve lost, or rather, what has changed is hard to take some days.

Sometimes I just want to share my joy, but realize that what I find to be amazing and joyful, someone else might see differently.  I keep much of what I’m feeling to myself.  I deal with it on a personal level, and work through some of it in therapy.  I wish I had a closer network of girlfriends.  I have a couple of really good friends, but we’re all in such different places in our lives that sometimes I need someone more.  Right now, I don’t have that someone.

Relationships change.  Some grow, some die, some evolve very quickly, and some very slowly. 

How do you find comfort, and what you need when the world around you is ever changing?  Nothing is constant.  Nothing is stagnant.  Nothing is forever.

I'm doing my best right now to build new relationships and not to isolate, though some days it's hard.  I'm coming up on the season that is the hardest for me.  Winter is tough because of the weather, lack of sunlight, a late sunrise and early sunset.  I know that I need to get out during the day when the sun is out, no matter how cold it is, just to get fresh air and what little sunlight I can get.  It sure is hard on those freezing days, the days where it just snows without letting up, and even now, the rainy fall days that we've been having. 

I'm combating the urge to sleep more than I should, and trying to stay active and involved with school, work and choir.