Learning to cope

As I mentioned in the previous post, I'm finally learning how to cope with different situations.  I'm learning this by way of therapy.  Right now, group therapy. 

I discharge from my intensive outpatient therapy next week, and will "step down" to individual therapy and a DBT group.  DBT stands for dialectical behavioral therapy.  Basically, it will give me tools to change the way I think.  Instead of internalizing things, I'll learn skills to realize that doing things for myself, standing up for myself, and being assertive rather than passive is and OK thing to do.  I'm very excited that I'll still be in a group because I've come to really like the group environment over the past two months.

It is still as daily struggle when people pass judgement.  I'm working on realizing that people only see the surface, they don't know what goes on internally.  Yesterday, I felt very very small.  I'm trying to register for Biology for the fall, but am unable due to an incomplete in Chemistry.  I take my final exam on August 1st with my professor's summer class.  Last semester I dealt with high anxiety and debilitating depression.  This led to doing poorly in classes, being unable to get out of my bed, or face my anxiety to get to class.  An advisor took a look at my transcripts yesterday, and based solely on what she saw made the assumption that taking a course with a "hard" teacher probably wouldn't be in my best interest.  This hurt me very deeply.  I'm not a dumb person, I never have been.  I'm looking at this as a challenge to get a FABULOUS grade in Biology.

Today I get to go to therapy and vent about it, talk it out, and get some feedback.

Don't judge a book by it's cover.  We're all deeper than we seem on the outside.  It's a good thing for everyone, including me, to remember.