"Waking up this morning, I smile. Twenty-four brand new hours are before me. I vow to live fully in each moment and to look at all beings with eyes of compassion."
— Thich Nhat Hanh
— Thich Nhat Hanh
Today is a new day. I had a rough night with my daughter. She started running a fever last night shortly before she went to bed. I spent the night with her in my room, tossing, turning, and wanting to be practically on top of me. She was disoriented and hallucinating. The tylenol didn't bring her fever down much. This morning, she is still sleeping. It is now just after 7 am. My kids never sleep that late.
Because I have a sick child, my plans for the day are completely shot. I had to call out of work last night so that I can be home with her, and this morning I have to either cancel, or try and reschedule my therapy appointment that I have set for 2 pm. This is the first time since my hospitalization that I'm missing therapy. My goal for that is to practice the skills I'm learning in DBT, and meditating during nap time so that I can have some quiet time for mindfulness. I'm finding more and more how important it is to me to just have a little down time for relaxing and mindful thinking.
Taking care of myself has made me a better mother to my children. I don't feel cross all the time, and though I still get annoyed, I feel that way less and less as each day happens. For the first time in months, I feel like myself. I don't have fleeting thoughts of suicide or harming myself to feel a release. I don't feel sad, worthless, or guilty. I'm recovering. Finally.
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